If you asked the Internets if you have a problem with alcohol, you have a problem with alcohol.

You’ve already thought that maybe you do have a drinking problem. That’s why you’re here.

Your drinking isn’t a love-hate relationship with alcohol. It’s a problem.

It’s not “mommy just needs to relax.” It’s a problem.

It’s not that drinking makes you more engaging and funnier. It’s a problem.

The good news is, the solution is easy. And the process is hard.

You need to stop drinking.

If you first have to stop drinking so you can be the best mom you can be for your kids, that’s a start on the solution.

If you first have to stop drinking so you can show up at work not wondering if you fucked anyone or anything at the event last night, that’s a start on the solution.

If you first have to stop drinking because the law told you you had to, that’s a start on the solution.

Eventually though, you will learn that you have to stop drinking for YOU.

You will realise that you have to stop drinking so you can be you again. Just you. The 12- or 30- or 44-year-old you were before you started using alcohol instead of drinking alcohol.

But really? Right now, whatever it is that helps you not pick up the next drink doesn’t matter.

Just stop.

I am not writing this to make you feel better about having a problem with alcohol.

I am not writing this to plug any program or guru or rehab facility.

I am not writing this to offer my services. While I am a practicing coach, I am most decidedly NOT a sobriety coach.

I am writing this to tell you your inner voice knows you have a problem and now YOU know you have a problem. You can’t unthink it. It is out there between you and this (likely ingonito) site.

I am writing this to let you know you CAN say no to the booze.

I am writing this to urge you, to BEG you, to tell alcohol and its dirty fucking enticing and diminishing lies to fuck off.

I am writing this to tell you it’s okay to put yourself first, for once.

However you choose to put the drink down, ultimately choose it because it works for you. Google ‘quit lit’, ‘sober girls support’, ‘how to get help with alcohol while working full time’. Go to an AA meeting. Or a Smart Recovery or Dharma or whatever meeting. Pray. Confide in a friend. Start being honest with your therapist and your partner. Search Inst and Tik and whatever else is out there for sober living, or addiction support. Whatever it takes.

Choose you.

I’m a woman who started using alcohol in 2018, at 44 years old, to hide from my inner turmoil. I hit my final rock bottom on 26 December 2024: drunk when the kids showed up to open Christmas with me. (My other bottoms include continuing to drink til my marriage ended and many many poor choices.) On 28 December 2024 I walked into a ladies-only AA meeting. So I am pretty stinking new at this whole not drinking thing. But I knew I had a problem years ago. And others knew too, but no one could say it to my face for eight years, choosing safety over confrontation. So I continued to hide.

Until my son confronted me and begged me to stop. On 26 December 2024.

Looking back on my eight year spiral alcohol spiral, this is the sort of page I needed to read. Straight-talk. No one selling any program or support or miracle, just in-your-face

YES, IT’S A PROBLEM! DO SOMETHING NOW!

I’ll occasionally add thoughts I’ve had related to being sober and links to pages and videos and articles that I find funny and compassionate and enlightening.

Here are some suggested resources. For law-talking reasons, maybe?, I have to say that I haven’t necessarily used the services provided by groups here. But they may be a kick you in your ass as you start to recover.

Lydia wearing glasses, sitting on a plane, sober

I’m Lydia, a real person. My life became unknowable to me in late 2017 and I started to use drink 2018. My marriage ended in 2021. And I finally stopped drinking on 26 December 2024.

ADHD diagnosis and medication + therapy + ladies AA group + support from people who love me no matter how fucked up I am + journaling because it surprisingly actually helps = an alcohol-free life.